Breakups can cause a lot of people to reevaluate their lives. This is a good thing, as they are great opportunities for growth, new beginnings, and embracing the “true self.” Many who find themselves in this space find a new or refreshed interest in meditation. I have found that some of my richest experiences with meditation have come in the initial days of a healing journey and that I find myself recommitted to welcoming the meditation energy into my life each day. In my coaching practice, I often have clients ask how to get started or how to maximize their practice for healing.
Want to learn about some other ways that meditation can help with your breakup healing journey? Read part one: Using mediation during your breakup.
Do you want to use mediation in your breakup healing? Here are five tips for developing a practice that will serve you at different phases of your journey.
Five minutes in the morning
One of my most common tips for starting a meditation practice is to start with five minutes in the morning. It is a short enough time to be unintimidating, but long enough to be effective. Calming the mind and getting focused before jumping into the day is a great way to insert more stability during a challenging time.
You can of course use the timer on your phone, but I always recommend the Insight Timer for everything meditation-related.
After spending five minutes a day in mediation for a week or two, you may enjoy increasing the time or frequency. Don’t push yourself, however. Start small, take note of your experience, and shift gears as a part of the journey.
As I’ve mentioned, one thing I hear from a lot of people is that they are so overwhelmed or sad after their breakup that they can’t clear their head long enough to sit for meditation. This is a valid concern. In fact, it is probably what most people who have resistance to meditation worry about. One way to cope with this block after a breakup is to do a guided meditation that will help you release some of the emotions that have a hold on you right now. A wonderful way to do this is with a cord-cutting mediation.
A cord-cutting meditation is a meditation that guides you through a visualization to begin to release the energetic ties you have with your ex. It can be a powerful way to begin to see your future without this person and to believe in the possibility of not feeling sad about what has happened. Here are a few to get you started:
What I want for myself is
What do you want your life to look like in three years? What do you want out of your relationships? If you could give yourself any reality, what would it be?
The prompt “what I want for myself is…” is a beautiful, expansive, energetically strong way to begin a meditation or journal session. The key is to allow your mind to deep dive into any possibility that comes. Do not let the practicalities of making things happen to get in the way of the flow. When you have such thoughts creep in, recognize them and then ask yourself the question again to get re-focused.
I did this meditation every morning for two months during one of the most difficult times in my life and it truly helped me to embrace the knowledge that good things were coming my way. If you would like, it adds even more bang for your buck to follow the meditation with 10-15 minutes of journaling around what comes up for you.
Love, compassion, and understanding meditation
A few weeks ago I featured lightworker Ashli Kunzler on my IG TV to talk about a resentment-releasing meditation that she uses as a part of her daily practice. This meditation is something that you can do anywhere with just a few minutes and will help you learn to experience the physical and mental sensation of letting harmful feelings about a person go.
To complete this meditation do the following:
Silently say to yourself:
“My heart is full of love, compassion, and understanding for “X”
Repeat 20 times
“X’s” heart is full of love, compassion, and understanding for me.”
Repeat 20 times
If you commit to focusing on the words you will shift your energy and release resentment around your breakup.
Gratitude is one of the most high-frequency emotions. Shifting from a place of overwhelm and regret to a place of gratitude is a sure way to stop racing thoughts about your breakup and begin to embrace all that is working for you and all that is to come.
The beginning of a meditation practice can be as simple as catching yourself in a moment of stress or sadness and setting a timer for one minute to list all of the things you are grateful for. This is the goal of my mediation practice — to get so used to redirecting my thoughts and going to the source of present moment awareness that I rarely allow my overwhelm to overcome me.
Another way to use gratitude in meditation practice is to list ten things that you are grateful for before entering into a seated mediation. Because of the high frequency of gratitude, focusing on that mindset before slowing the mind for silent meditation will get your system in an optimal place for welcoming in the benefits.
Want more support in cultivating a mediation practice to add a boost to your healing journey? Get in touch to schedule time to discuss my coaching programs.