I am a big fan of meditation to help with a wide range of inner struggles, including healing from a breakup. In my work with clients I have found that knowing they are at the beginning of a new way of approaching life, many want to incorporate meditation. And of course, there is the common question that I hear from friends and clients alike: “How do I get started?” or “How do I stay committed?” And I have also been told by some that they see how it could be beneficial, but they feel too overwhelmed with grief or anger to sit alone with their thoughts.
While it may not be for everyone, I have found that meditation has helped me to let go after breakups and to come out on top of the game. Because it comes up so often, I am doing a two-part series on incorporating it into your healing journey.
First, let’s explore why mediation and breakups go so well together.
Getting excited about your future again
It can be hard to imagine the future after the person you thought you would spend it with is out of the picture. If you didn’t think you’d be single and navigating life without the input of another person, the future can look like a big, blank canvas. Or even a hole.
This canvas is yours for the painting. It starts with visualizing what you want to create. Quiet space to deeply access your true desires for the future is one important outcome of meditation.
TIP: Most people overestimate what they can accomplish in one year and underestimate what they can accomplish in three years. You may want to picture your life in three years rather than one to open the flood gates of possibility
Calm the mind
One of the things that I have most struggled with when it comes to breakups is racing thoughts. This is something I have dealt with nearly my entire life when it comes to conflicts with others. I will find myself thinking the exact same things for days on end. Replaying the same conversations. Replaying what I wish I had said.
It can be difficult for some people to learn how to redirect thoughts and learn their way out of this habit. That is because it takes a lot of effort.
Sitting in meditation for five minutes each morning will begin to train your mind to slow down and focus elsewhere. Ten minutes the next week helps your mind and body to become more comfortable with the peace and place of meditation. In time, you will be able to access this place when you find your thoughts spinning out of control.
Too upset or overwhelmed to meditate?
I have heard this SO many times. I have someone I’m coaching let me know they are interested in meditation and make an action plan with me for getting started. And when we check in, they tell me that they never tried because of “knowing” they were too overwhelmed to do it. Or get started the first time and simply not being able to slow their thoughts. I have often been surprised to hear people tell me that they just simply couldn’t do it.
Committing to a simple mediation during your breakup may provide you with a powerful, effective tool for eliminating the overwhelm. Stopping the excuses. Prioritizing yourself. Connecting with your desires. Thinking about the way you may be sabotaging your breakup success.
Five minutes a day may find you saying “I’m too upset not to meditate” in a couple of weeks. On my most busy weeks, this is the secret to my success. I find that if I don’t stop for at least five minutes each evening I will get so lost in the hustle and bustle that I will lose track of what I’m doing, lose focus, and even allow resentment around my tasks to sneak in.
Meditation isn’t a cure-all for everyone, but it is one practice to consider if you are looking to accelerate your healing. Want to know how to get started? Tune in for part 2: Breakups and mediation: Tips for getting started.
Want to work one-on-one with me to develop a powerful action plan for your breakup? Contact me here to get information on my coaching or schedule a time to connect.
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