Why is a regular morning routine important during your breakup?
When you are feeling down or starting a new life that doesn’t involve your partner, it is powerful to send signals to your system in the early hours that you are safe, you will take care of yourself, and that the future is positive. I find mornings to be especially rough when I’m not “at my best,” so having comforting things take place that I can count on each morning really help me get started.
Let’s develop a morning routine together based on your needs and likes!
Do you need to grieve?
If you are processing a breakup and find that the mornings are hard because you are triggered by waking up alone, facing another rough day, or coping with being alone in your space, allowing time in the morning to get some of your sadness out of your system.
In her book Breakup Boss, Zoe Foster Blake suggests the practice “Mourning Morning”:
“Set a timer to 15 minutes each morning, and wallow DEEPLY for that time. Really get in there and feel the sadness and anger and pity and regret and resentment. Get filthy in it. Roll around and cover yourself in self-pity like a sad little piglet. And then, at 15 minutes, stop, put your chin up, take a deep breath and get on with your day.
Do it every single day. Soon you’ll get to 12 minutes and feel done. Then 10. Then you won’t need your Mourning Morning at all.
I find that stepping outside and allowing myself to feel all of the grief with the fresh air on my face helps. Or having a cry in bed and then taking a hot shower or indulging in a beautiful coffee after. If you feel like this will work for you, customize it in any way that best supports your healing.
Next, what makes you feel good?
When I am helping others develop a morning routine one of my first questions is: “what makes you feel good in the morning?” Think about this and then make it a part of each and every morning. Mine is having a huge mug of really good coffee and listening to music. Every night before I get into bed I make sure that my coffee maker is completely ready to go so that I just need to push the “start” button when I wake up. And I have a few different playlists that I use to get me pumped for the day.
Some other ideas may include:
-Enjoying some dark chocolate in the morning
-Putting on your favorite slippers
-Using some energizing essential oils
-Getting wrapped in a blanket and looking out the window while you set an intention for the day
Is there anything you think you “should” be doing?
The morning is an auspicious time for some people to complete certain tasks, especially those with a circadian rhythm that is geared toward the early morning. Pick one thing to focus on/add into your new routine, being careful to select something that feels within reach.
A few ideas:
-10-minute stretch before your morning shower
-A guided mediation
-A morning jog
-A writing session
-Getting out in nature
-Having a glass of lemon water
Again, pick just one extra thing that you know will help you feel healthy and accomplished and focus on it for a week. Let me know what the results are!
Don’t be afraid to start small. Creating and sticking to even the most simple of morning routines is going to boost willpower to get through this tough time. And waking up with this level of self-care is SURE to speed up your success. But set yourself up for success by making things DOABLE. Don’t try to go from struggling to get out of bed to committing to a 5K run early in the morning. Habits can be extremely easy to break, leading to a loss of motivation that could be hard to undo and really not what you need right now. Instead, develop a routine that supports your healing journey and builds your confidence over time.